#absolutely lost my mind when he showed up on my tv and couldn't stop laughing

[nataliescatorccio]

JONATHAN BAILEY as 'Harry Clark' For Comic Relief's 'The Traitors' sketch

[hellfiremunsonn]

Tender Touches. Eddie Munson x Reader

Tender Touches

I DO NOT ALLOW MY WRITING TO BE REPUBLISHED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT MY CONSENT

Summary: A typical Tuesday that leads to you and Eddie finally confessing your feelings for each other, and finally, losing that virgin status.

18 + IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER DO NOT READ OR INTERACT WITH MY WRITING. IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.

Warnings: fem!reader, reader has a vagina, virgin reader, virgin Eddie, hes such a teasing little shit, protected sex, first times, 'fem' pet names (IF THERES ANYTHING I MISSED LET ME KNOW)

AN: I CAN WRITE? WHO KNEW!!!  NOT REALLY PROOF READ (And shout out to my bby boy @rowanswriting for giving this a read through for me to make sure it wasn't absolute garbage! love u <3)

Wordcount: 4.6k

It's a normal Tuesday afternoon. You're at eddies, kneeled in front of his tv that he's moved into his room so the two of you can lay in his bed and watch movies instead of squishing together on the couch. Not that you didn't mind squishing up with him, it was actually one of your favourite activities when the two of you weren't constantly teasing each other to cover up the fact that you both were head over heels for one another. 

You can hear Eddie bumbling around in the kitchen, muttering to himself while you sift through the pile of tapes. Some newly rented, some classics he already owned, so it was just a matter of deciding on watching something new or rewatching something just cause. You decided on The Lost Boys. You had only seen it once before when Eddie rented it for halloween one year, but never made it through the whole thing because you had fallen asleep. You had come down with a cold only two days before and were upset you couldn't do your halloween traditions, but naturally that didn't stop Eddie from showing up at your door step, with snacks, and drinks to make you feel better along with the movie and cuddles from him that could never compare to anyone else's. 

You were so lost in thought that the entire time you've been sat going through the movies you didn't realize Eddie had been watching you. Stood in the doorway with a stupid smile on his face while he watched you quietly talk to yourself about each movie. 

He tries to hide his laugh by covering it with a cough, pretending to clear his throat and slightly startling you in the process. "Pick one yet?"

You squeaked slightly at his voice. "Shit Ed's you scared me"

He laughed, laying down on his bed, setting the bowl of popcorn down in the middle, and putting your drinks on the table next to him. "It's not my fault you're so jumpy all the time" 

"I swear I only get this bad around you" you say with a fake sigh, sliding the movie out of its cardboard case and into the VHS machine. 

"That sounds like a you problem dude" he says flicking a piece of popcorn at you. It hits you in the forehead and lands in your lap. 

"Rude" you mumble, picking up the piece of popcorn and eating it before standing up with a stretch. Arms over your head with your fingers interlocked; your cropped band t-shirt rising up, to where it's about a centimetre away from fully exposing your boobs but the stretch feels too good for you to notice. Eddie notices though, and he almost fully chokes and gags on his own spit at the sight of the soft skin of your underboob. 

You crawl your way onto Eddies bed and sit next to him, pulling the popcorn bowl closer to you, and taking a tiny handful. Eddies body is ridged next to you, but you don't seem to notice.

You make it about ten minutes into the movie before your fourth sigh of the night makes Eddie take the bowl of popcorn from you and turns to face you. "Alright, what's your issue?" he asks.

"What? What are you talking about?" you sit up, pushing yourself up with your hands and crossing your legs under you. 

"You've been sighing every five seconds like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, so what is it" he pokes your shoulder a little too hard and you wince but smile nonetheless. 

"If I ask you something stupid do you promise not to laugh?" you gnaw at your bottom lip, looking up at him with soft eyes. 

"Have I ever?" he says quickly, a smug smile on his face.

"Often actually" you tease.

"No but seriously, you can tell me anything" he says reaching over to give your thigh a gentle pat and squeeze. 

"Okay, um, do you think I'm hot?" you can feel the heat of embarrassment rise from your stomach up your neck to your cheeks. 

Eddie stares at you. You almost think he might actually be frozen, and you're about to ask him if he's okay when he exhales loudly. 

"I'm not sure what you're asking me here" he says with a small laugh. "Are you asking if I'm attracted to you orrrrr?" he raises a brow.

"Well, no" you furrow your brows. "Not exactly, but if you are attracted to me, that might help?" You groan, dropping your head into your hands. "ugh, okay" you said loudly and taking a deep breath. Pretending that it will help you feel more confident with your words.

"When you look at me, or when we first met did, did you think 'wow she's hot' or do I just not look like that?" the words tumble out of your mouth, almost too quickly that Eddie slightly struggles to understand you at first. 

Eddie looks at you in disbelief before letting out a small laugh, shaking his head. 

"S'not funny!" you say slapping him on the arm, which only spurs him on.

"No, no it's not" he said in between breaths. "It's just an absolutely ridiculous question, of course you're hot" he said matter of fact. "Have you ever even looked at yourself?" He puts the bowl of popcorn down on the floor next to him, turning to fully face you now making you feel nervous with all his attention on you.

"I look at myself everyday Ed's" you say looking down, playing with the hem of one of your socks.

"Okay don't get an attitude with me, you know what I mean" he said while crossing one arm over his chest to scratch at the opposite bicep, you bite your lip at the sight.

You roll your eyes and huff. "M'not getting an attitude Ed's I ju-" (you were absolutely getting an attitude) But he grabs your face with one hand before you can finish the sentence, squishing your cheeks together until your lips are in a pout. You had thought that your face couldn't heat up any more with embarrassment than it already had, but then his hands touched your face and your entire body engulfed in heat.

"Answer the question" he said slowly, each word enunciated and his tone oddly stern. Watching you for a moment, before releasing your face from his hand, leaning back against the wall.

Your heart was thumping in your chest. "I j-just don't see what other people see obviously, a-and maybe I'm missing something you know? And that's why people don't like me" you rush.

He scoffs, shaking his head, leaning back until he was looking up at the ceiling. Throat on display, thick and inviting, begging to be bitten. You swallowed hard when he looked back at you, some sort of mischief in his eyes. 

"Ed's you're being weird" you say shifting slightly, trying to ignore the roaring heat you could feel between your legs.

He hums. "Do you not see the way I look at you?" he leans forward, resting his elbows on the top of his thighs while he looks at you intently. 

"I can see the way you're looking at me right now" you say softly, heart thumping so loudly in your ears you wondered if it was loud enough for Eddie to hear.

"And how am I looking at you right now?" he asks, tilting his head to the side.

You swallow thickly, only raising your eyes to his briefly while you said. "You're looking at me like you want to-" you lick your lips. "-Like you want to fuck me"

His smile spreads slowly, it's a wicked grin that makes you nervous but intrigues you more. 

"There's my smart girl" he coos. 

Your mouth falls agape, unsure at how to respond to him "Huh?"

He's quick, grabbing at your legs until he's pulled you down enough so you're laying on your back, hair sprawled around you messily while your breath catches in your throat. He's hovering over you with both his hands on either side of your head looking at you like he's on death row and you're his last meal.

"I want to do a lot more than fuck you, but I'd like to start with a kiss if that's okay?"

You're in shock, you almost consider pinching yourself to make sure this isn't a dream "You want to kiss me?" you ask. "Did I fall and hit my head or something?" you lean up on your elbows and Eddie moves back slightly to accommodate you but still stays close.

"For someone who's as smart as you are, you can be really dumb sometimes" Eddie laughs. "Of course I want to kiss you, you idiot" he says all too casually. 

Something blooms inside you. You don't know if its confidence, or arousal, but with a laugh you wrap your arms around his neck and press your lips into his. He lets out a small groan and it fuels the heat between your legs more spreading throughout your entire body until it reaches the centre of your chest. His lips are soft and pillowy just like you had imagined. He taste like cigarettes, popcorn, and the sugar from the candies you had shared. 

You push yourself forward more until Eddie leans back almost completely. "Sit" you mumble against his mouth and he listens, not letting your lips be untouched for more than a second while he moves to sit on the edge of his bed. You quickly straddle him, hands coming up to either sides of his face to deepen the kiss, and his squeeze at the sides of your hips, earning a small moan that you tried to keep quiet. You don't realize you're not putting your full weight on him until you feel him guide your hips closer, the brush of his hardened cock against your centre makes you squeak in surprise. 

The two of you move together like you knew what you were doing, it was instinct considering you never made it this far with most of the people you've been with. Sure you've fooled around with others, and you've done most of the sexual acts your mind could comprehend but neither of you had been able to discard that 'virgin' title. But it's never felt like this, it never felt electric, and the shocking realization that you could make Eddie feel this good makes you even more turned on. 

Eddie pulls back slightly when he realizes you've started to grind against him. "W-We don't have to do anything if you don't want to" he says breathlessly. 

"I know" you whisper "But this feels really good" you admit, never once stopping the motion of your hips. 

"You're gunna make me cum in my pants if you keep doing that" he says glancing down to watch the roll of your hips. 

"Is that a challenge?" you tease, pressing down on him a little harder which makes him close his eyes tight and groan. 

"You don't wanna start that game sweetheart" his hands are tight where they've moved to your thighs, squeezing harshly. 

"Why not?" you say looking at him, eyes blown out and glassy, you feel drunk off of want-Need.

"Cause you won't win" Eddie says with a smirk. One arm wrapping around your waist as he pushes himself up into you hard, a forced moan slipping from your mouth loudly while he flips the two of you, until you're on your back under him once again. 

"How do you know how to do all that?" You ask through a small gasp.

"I'm a virgin sweetheart, not inexperienced" he smirks and you open your eyes just quickly enough to catch the end of it. 

"Can I keep getting those pretty sounds outta you?" his cheeks are flushed, and you think he's never looked prettier.

You nod quickly, pulling at the fabric of his t-shirt, trying to get him closer "More" you plead. "Please?"

"Yeah? You want more?" He asks while looping his fingers into the waistband of your pants, inching them down so, so, slowly until your lower half is bare before him. You whine impatiently and he smiles. "You can have anything you want baby I'll give it to you" 

You cover your face with your hands, heat rising to your cheeks at the way he called you baby while undressing you. He moves your hands away, a cocky smile on his face. "What's got you all shy now hmm?"

"You can't just call me baby like that" you breathe, watching him in a daze as he trailed kisses down between the valley of your breasts, barely covered by the crop top you wore. 

"Why not?" he mumbles against your skin, nipping and licking at any spot he can get access. You keen into his touch, your waist instinctively following the warmth of his mouth. 

You hum, forcing the words to come to you, but he's making you feel so good. "Gives me butterflies" you murmur. "B-but, like lower?" brows furrowed.

Eddies head shoots up to look at you when he hears that. Your eyes are closed and your head is tilted back so you can't see him look at you. "Lower?" he asks trailing a finger from your sternum down to your waist.

"Yeah" you nod and sigh.

Eddie coos "You tellin' me I give your pussy butterflies?" His hand continues down you until his palm pushes against your clit. You know he's smirking, you know he's looking up at you, but you can't open your eyes to look.

You hate the way pussy rolls of his tongue, but you hate the way it makes your stomach flip more, and the pathetic noise of a whimper that leaves you when he says it. 

"Can we, c-could y-you" your trying to get the words out but your arousal fogs your mind, the only thing there is Eddie.

"What is it baby, what do you need?" his thumb swipes at your clit and you mewl. 

You finally open your eyes, tilting your head to your shoulder to look at him. His eyes are down where his thumb is connected to you, watching in awe the way your cunt literally shines for him. His eyes flick back up quickly and he smiles when he sees you looking back at him. 

"Can we have sex?" you say quickly and so very quiet Eddie almost doesn't catch it. 

"Do you want to?" He asks seriously. 

You nod. "I feel like I'm on fire, I want to feel you, I need it" you say it so surely that Eddie has to bite his tongue from declaring his love for you right then and there, so instead he just nods leaning back onto his knees, too far away from you for your liking and you pout. 

"Show me how you touch yourself first" he says while reaching behind him to pull his shirt over his head.

"What!?" you prop yourself up onto your elbows, mouth agape in shock knees knocking together.

"Show me" he says with a nod, eyes flicking down to your slick pussy that he can still see despite your attempt to hide it, and then back up to you. "How you touch yourself" his words are slow, just like his hands as they undo his belt, pulling it out of its loops and chucking it onto the floor. 

You hesitate still, watching him while he pops the button of his jeans and pulls at them so the zipper slides down. "Listen, I'm sure I can figure it out myself, but I'd have a better chance at making you cum if you show me" he smirks. 

That smug bastard. It takes everything in you to keep your voice steady but when you speak, you don't break eye contact and say "I'd rather you put your mouth on me instead" 

He falters only slightly. It's the way his smile drops just barely at the corner of his mouth and the way his cheeks flush that you're able to catch it. He laughs in disbelief, tugging his jeans down just a little to relieve some pressure, exposing the soft happy trail just below his belly button.

You bite your lip and hum at the sight, dreaming about the way it would feel if you dragged your tongue over it. "I don't know if I can wait that long though" you admit, sighing when you look back up at him. 

"Wait that long for what?" he says slowly crawling his way back on top of you, knee slotting perfectly between your legs. You flinch when the fabric of his jeans makes contact with your clit.

"Tell me what you're waiting for hmm?" he asked, that stupid smirk you already know is plastered on his face. 

You're getting needy, and Eddie is memorizing every sound and movement you make because of it. Determined to get you like this as often as you'll let him. "Please" you whine, and you curse yourself for the tears you feel prick at the corner of your lashes. 

"Please what" he crowds your space, enveloping you in all of him. 

"Please sir? Please Daddy? Please Master? Please Eddie?" you rush frustrated. "I n-need you Eds please" 

"Fuck" he breathes, head falling until his forehead is resting against your shoulder. "You sure?" he asks again, looking back at you for reassurance. 

"Yeah" you lick your lips, mouth dry with excitement. "I'm sure"

"It- Um, okay, I might not last very long" he says bashfully, leaning back from you to lean over to his bedside table, picking out a shiny packet and tossing it onto the bed next to you. 

"I don't care" you shake your head smiling, you're so blissed out, you can't imagine how you'll feel when he gets to fuck you properly but that's for another day.

He huffs a laugh, pulling back from you to take his jeans and boxers off. You admire him, finally getting a glance at what you've been dreaming of. His dick is perfect needless to say, but you can't help the nerves that bloom in your stomach about what the two of you are about to do. 

Eddie catches the change in your eyes and is quick to reassure you, with a hand on your knee, resting his chin on it and giving it a squeeze. "Hey, it'll be okay, we'll go slow okay? If it sucks, just tell me, I'll wait forever for this, as long as its with you"

Your eyes water at his sincerity and he panics slightly when he sees your bottom lip wobble. "Baby, hey, come here" he lays next to you and pulls you into him, and you gladly hide your face into the crook of his shoulder, sniffing slightly. 

"You're so sweet to me" you say quietly.

"Well it's cause I love you" he says, and you both still for a moment, because that's the first time those words have been fully and truthfully spoken with romantic intent. 

"You love me?" you ask, leaning back to look up at him. Even though he just said it, and you know it's the truth, it's what you've been waiting to hear for the last three years. 

He nods and smiles, his cheeks pink as he says "I do"

You giggle. "I love you to"

"Gross" he says before leaning down to kiss you quick. "Wanna try?"

"Yeah" you take a breath. "Yeah, I'm ready, m'just nervous that it's going to hurt" you admit. 

"It might, but tell me if it's too much okay? If I had known this was going to be happening today I would have restocked my lube"

You snort at his unfiltered self, never afraid to say what he's thinking.

It's shaky hands and fumbling movements, shoving your faded sea creature themed comforter you always brought with you for sleep overs, down as far as it could go. It's the first time the two of you have seen each other like this, the tension building over the last three years as the two of you pretended you weren't head over heels for each other it felt like you could explode.

"Can I take this off?" he asks, hands slipping under the sides of your shirt. 

You nod, lifting yourself up to fling it over your head and onto his floor, and he drinks in the sight of your bare chest. He stares for a moment, just taking you in, like he's dreamed about.

"You're acting like you've never seen a pair of tits before" you tease.

"I've seen plenty of tits" he scoffs. "but I haven't seen such perfect tits before" and he dives in, kissing every inch of them, mouthing at the skin, and licking each of your nipples until you're keening into his touch. He only stops when you whimper because he knows you're growing needier by the second. 

"I know m'sorry" he says breathlessly against your sternum. Sitting back up onto his knees he reaches for the condom next to you, tearing the wrapper by the corner and pulling out the slippery latex circle. You watch as he slips it on so quickly, like he's done this a million times, and just before you can ask "I've practiced" he says with a smirk, coming back to rest between the safety of your thighs, hugging his hips perfectly. 

"Ready?" he asks. 

"Yeah" you nod with a smile. 

"Okay" he breathes. "Fuck, yeah, okay, okay" he takes his cock into his hand, pushing it through your slick folds and the two of you moan in unison. Gathering your arousal l until he dips just below to your entrance, looking back up at you for approval. 

You nod again. "That's the right spot" you encourage and he laughs. 

"Tell me if you need me to stop okay?"

"I will baby I promise"

he leans over you quickly to kiss you, because how could he not when you just called him baby like that? Slowly he pushes the head of his cock against you. Just the slight pressure of his cock feels good but it doesn't erase the nerves bubbling through you as Eddie pushes in more.

"Sh-it" you say through gritted teeth. 

"D'you want me to stop?"

"No no, sorry, just, weird feeling, never had anything so um" you giggle and Eddies eyes panicky search yours, because why are you laughing when his dick is about to enter you. 

"Please don't tell me my dick is small, not now, I couldn't handle it" 

You laugh again but louder, switching to a moan when Eddies own laughter causes him to push in a little more. Your hands coming up to hold his biceps. 

"I've never had anything so big in me" 

"Don't flatter me" he teases.

"Oh fuck off" you slap his arm before returning your hand back to it.

He slips in inch by inch, and it doesn't not hurt, but it doesn't feel entirely great either. It's a mixture of pain and pleasure, with the oddest comforting feeling of him so deep inside you. 

"Fucking christ" Eddie breathes when he bottoms out, arms shaking from where they hold himself up above you. "If I move I'm cumming in like thirty seconds, tops"

You laugh and he groans at the feeling of your cunt squeezing around him. 

"Fuck, don't, you can't laugh" he says, but you can't help it especially when he says it through a laugh himself. 

"Stop making me laugh then!" you quip. 

And so he does, slipping one hand between your two bodies until he finds your slippery clit, rubbing circles that has you embarrassingly and shockingly close to cumming. Your back arches with a gasp, another pornographic moan leaving you as Eddie continues his movements. Eventually slowly pulling himself out an inch before going back in. You don't even realize he's doing it until one thrust and clench of your cunt happen at the same time and you almost choke on your spit at how good it feels. 

"Holy shit" you breathe. 

"I know" Eddie says through a laugh of disbelief. 

A thick heat engulfs your body, sweat forming between your two bodies, and you feel everything in you begin to tremble. 

"You okay?" he says from the crook of your neck.

"Uh-huh" you nod with a hiccup.

Eddie pulls himself from your neck to look at you, concerned with the sad noise that you made. He slows down and you open your eyes, blinking rapidly to clear the tears that blur your vision. They slide down the sides of your temples, and fade into your hairline. Eddies hand comes up to wipe away at the tears, pushing your hair out of your face. 

"Baby, baby, what's going on?"

"M'okay" you say though a small sob. "Just feels really good" you admit. 

"Yeah?" He says picking his speed back up. 

"You're gunna make me cum I think" You say craning your neck to look at where the two of you are connected, his trimmed pubes, wet against yours with your arousal. You slide your hand down to rub at your clit, and the sensation is almost so intense you want to stop, but you're so close. 

"Keep doing that baby, come on" he grunts, gritting his teeth as he fucks into you harder once he realizes you can take it. And boy can you take it.

"Yes, oh- ohmygod!" you whine, head falling back against his pillows. "Please please please please-" You chant. You're not sure if you're asking Eddie for permission or yourself, but him approving it doesn't sound too bad. 

"Come on, you're so close I can feel it" he watches as your legs tremble, slowly moving up, up, up, until your knees are under your chin, toes pointed against his thighs like you're trying to push yourself away from him while your hands cling to his biceps to bring you closer. When you start bouncing yourself back on eddies cock in time with his thrusts he knows he's going to lose it. 

"Cum on this cock pretty girl, come on" his voice shakes, and he's losing his rhythm. 

"I'm- oh I'm- fuck Eddie!" The hand that still holds him grips tightly, nails digging into his skin, and he can feel it start to burn but he doesn't care. 

"Fuck yeah baby, look at you, you're so hot, fucking christ, god, you're amazing, m'gunna cum, shit" he babbles before he cums, spilling more words and expletives as he spills himself inside the condom, inside of you, his words warm against your chest.

Its quiet apart from the two of you catching your breath, relaxing your muscles, and the only time either of you make a noise is when Eddie lifts his head from you, bangs stuck to his forehead in every direction and you can't help but laugh. 

"What?" He says smiling back at you, absolutely in love. 

"You look a mess" you say snorting, pushing his hair away from his face. 

"You look sexy" he says leaning up from you, slowly pulling himself out of you and removing the condom, tying it in a knot and chucking it into his garbage can next to his bed. You make a small whimper of disapproval when he leans back again, thinking he's going to get up. 

"Not going anywhere pretty" he says reaching for the blanket that had been pushed off his bed, bringing it back up, and cuddling it up around you before sliding himself under it next to you. 

You scooch over until you can lay your head on his chest, leg hitching up over his waist and you can feel your arousal leak out of you and probably onto him but you're too blissed out to care.

"I love you" you murmur softly into his skin, placing delicate kisses.

"Hmm?" he lolls his head to the side, eyes sleepy and fond, thumb rubbing gently across your cheek. 

"I love you" you say looking up at him, cheek smushed against his chest. 

"I love you right back" he says without a beat. 

[goldenglock-preacher]

Since you were looking for short goldenglock ideas...

Grisha notices that John is like...severely depressed today. More than usual. He starts trying anything to cheer him up, just throwing himself at John in every way possible, cuddling with him, babbling on and on about nothing to keep him entertained, etc. Until eventually he resorts to telling John outright how much he cares about him, and that's the one thing that seems to get through.

(No pressure, idk if you take writing prompts!)

Omg thank you and yes please send me all the prompts you can come up with I will take every opportunity to write about these fuckers and not worry about the main fics plot progression. That post was basically asking for prompts.

Things take place after the 4th movie so John cuts ties with everyone and is in Grisha’s circle “full-time”, living with him. Decided to make it take place in a longer span than a day because Grisha is way too dumb to find a solution that quickly. 

Idk how we got here but now there’s also insomnia??

“I worry about you.”

John is hands down the calmest person in Grisha’s circle. Nobody has the same amount of emotional control, which often made him the supportive rock involuntarily. This group full of relationship drama and misunderstandings would just gravitate towards him, like a voice of reason, even though he wasn’t the best at giving advice. 

Being able to make him smile was Grisha’s biggest accomplishment but recently…he just couldn’t manage to do it. Everything that worked before just suddenly stopped and he would see John get lost in his own mind more than usual. 

- John, listen, something bit Volodya in the ass and now he’s throwing an absolute shitstorm my way, so we have to leave in like-

- I’ll stay.

Grisha’s thoughts break off, as he tries to put on his leather jacket in a haste.

- Are you…sure?

It might sound silly but this was somehow the thing that triggered Grisha’s alarm. Nearly every time Grisha tells John about his plans, the man is already at the door. He doesn’t always end up being useful but he still finds these little adventures entertaining enough to join in even on the most mundane tasks. They were basically inseparable. 

- Yeah…

Grisha would have stayed, if the phone wasn’t aggressively vibrating in his pocket right now.

- Okay then…see you for dinner?

John nods.

God, it felt weird saying that. 

****

He felt bad being out of the house for so long and when he came back, he expected to see John asleep at this point…but he wasn’t. He was laying on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen. There was an empty take-out bag in the kitchen. To Grisha’s surprise, John seemed to have ordered delivery while he was home.

Grisha completely stopped using delivery once he moved in, because John would rather cook himself. So all of this was really uncharacteristic for him. 

- I’m home.

He finally spoke up, watching John slowly sit up.

- What, not even a bark?

Grisha lets out a laugh, hoping that he will break John with just the stupidity of that sentence but it’s like he didn’t even register the words.

- What are you doing up so late anyways? It’s…

Grisha checked his watch

- 3 AM.

- Just…didn’t feel like sleeping.

John answered in a mellow voice. 

- C’mon John, I was gone for just a day, no way you started missing me this much already!

He was sure that this would at least pull a protest out of John but, once again, it’s like he didn’t have any energy for Grisha’s antics, which made the conversation awkward, to say the least. His joking was completely cut short and now he didn’t have any ideas. 

****

He took a whole day off, just to stay with John and convince him to go outside. They were side by side the whole day, just one on one, with nothing to do but bast in each other’s company…but it didn’t help. John still seemed to not be entirely here, instead drowning in his thoughts that Grisha, sadly, couldn't read. He was desperately showing John love at this point, not letting the man’s skin breath without him for too long. Shoulder grabs, holding hands, hugs, as if his touch could send a message. John didn’t push him away but wouldn’t respond much either, like a stone statue. 

****

Is insomnia contagious? It started to feel like it is. Grisha was laying on the bed for what feels like an eternity but the inner turmoil of knowing that John is not happy right now, makes his eyes stay open. He couldn't just leave him like this...so he got up.

Grisha walks into the living room and leans on the wall, crossing his arms, watching John mindlessly sitting on the floor and staring at the screen. He wasn’t actually watching it, none of the channels registered in his brain. He just pressed the remote button over and over again, in a rhythm, even. He wasn’t really asleep but also not awake. It was hard, seeing him like this. Despite his talents and strengths, lack of sleep can take anyone out.

Grisha sighs, with a bit of hesitation, but finally gets enough courage to step towards him.

- Sorry, did I wake you up?

John addressed him first but didn’t look away. At least he’s aware that Grisha is standing there, next to him…which is something.

- I worry about you.

He delivers it to him straight, which seemed to have grabbed his attention. John’s finger stopped clicking the button, now looking at nothing but static. He was still silent so Grisha didn’t have much choice other than just continue. 

- I’m watching you get tortured by things outside of my understanding and there’s nothing I can do. 

John gently places the remote on the floor, as if to make sure the sound doesn’t interrupt him.

- I want to give you everything. I want to make it better but I’m just…too stupid to figure out how.

He couldn’t be sentimental without at least an awkward joke for too long. John lowers his head, looking at the floor. He’s trying to hide his face with his hair.

- You deserve happiness…or sleep, at least. 

Grisha gestures to the TV.

- I’m so lucky to have a chance to be the one to give you that happiness…but I don’t know how to help a man who’s stronger than I could ever be.

After a beat, John picks up the remote once again but only to turn the TV off. He leaves the remote on the floor and finally gets up on his feet. His eyes, slightly watery. 

- Let’s go to bed.

[neon-wisp0831]

Healing broken hearts: continued

Chapter four: when I see you again

(This is more on Tai's point of view, figured I'd switch things up a bit)

Tired... Sad... Empty... No amount of words could really explain how I feel these days.. Just really numb... And alone...

I really messed up it doesn't get any worse than what I did... I can't even bring myself to look in the mirror anymore..

Worthless... Pathetic... Idiotic.. Stupid!

Everything that is happened is all because of me...

I was supposed to be a hero.. To be something good to the world... To Y/N ... But no... All I did was ruin them, I ruined what we had, there's no excuse no matter how I look at it..

A soft mew broke the large man out of his thoughts, looking down at his feet from his perch from the couch, he noticed his new acquaintance, a little Kurilian bobtail kitten he had got recently to keep himself company, he picked up the small little guy, giving him a few gentle strokes to his back before lifting him up to give him a small kiss "Hey buddy..." He spoke to the little one, getting up to head to the kitchen, knowing what that cute little mew meant, he looked through one of the cabinets of his home, having it stocked just for his new little house mate.

"There you go.." He set a plate of food, just enough to satisfy the little one's hunger, down onto the kitchen floor, watching with a smile as he ate, but his attention was then caught at the sound of the doorbell to his home, walking over to open the door, he heard two familiar voices on the other side, his smile grew at the sound of his boys, grabbing at the doorknob opening up his home, ready to greet his interns.

He wasn't prepared for this this however...

○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○

My whole body froze when I saw them, the fact they were even here shook me to my core, and it felt as though a hard punch had been waiting for me on the other side, directed towards my heart.

It felt like I was seeing them for the very first time... Like how I did when we first met... How I wanted to see them again... How happy I was when they were finally with me..

And how much I loved them so dearly all this time..

"Tai.." They spoke first, I could see it in their eyes, how hurt they are just looking at me..

That feeling in my chest was starting to be more unbearable by the second, tears were starting to spill from my eyes, it was starting to feel like my office breakdown all over again

"Y/N.. I-" I hardly got a word out before they were already attaching themselves to me, sobs muffled against my body, gripping tight on my tank top as they cried, it was a major relief feeling their arms around me again, so much so that I couldn't resist hugging them back just as tight, the ache in my chest slowly subduing to less pain until all I could really feel was the shaking form of the one person who was able to heal the pain I had felt all this time.

"I'm so sorry Y/N...I'm... I'm sorry I put us into this mess.." Looking up I saw Kirishima and Tamaki, giving a small smile, I beckoned them over to join the hug, they did, eagerly, it was a nice a moment, a moment I'd cherish for as long as I'll live.. Just me, my two boys..

And the person I love most..

♛┈⛧┈┈•༶.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・༶•┈┈⛧┈♛

"Here.." You were given a cup of warm tea, giving your thanks to Tai, you soon turned your attention to the little one being entertained by the two older boys, Tamaki had manifested some vines from his fingers, having eaten a salad earlier while in the cafe, and was using them as a make-shift cat toy as Kirishima took video of the cute ordeal, watching the tiny feline swat and bite at the greens with absolute awe in his eyes

You gave a small smile at the sight, feeling Taishiro's figure sit next to you, his hand rubbing your shoulder and turning your attention to him, in his hand he held two of the sweets you had picked out for you all from the cafe, the smile grew as you took the offering, biting into the sweet treat, enjoying the amazing taste. For a shop that just opened up, the pastries were already to die for.

"Wow.. These are amazing Y/N! I might have to stop by during one my patrols" Tai spoke up seeming to enjoy the little gift you and the boys had brought him. You gave a soft laugh at that, leaning back against the couch as you stared at the hero

"Oh is that right? Well maybe I'll have some prepared for you when you do decide to stop by, because God knows it'll take us forever to prepare stuff for you right on the spot" You both shared a laugh at that sentence, before it slowly died down a bit, looking to the side, you both sighed softly, still unable to face each other properly.. The sounds of the boys playing with their new friend being the only noise at the moment

The silence was too much, and you decided to make a bold move by leaning against the man next to you, earning a small flinch from him before he eased into your touch a little bit, wrapping an arm around you, lightly rubbing your shoulder as he rested his head on yours, the feeling of being this close to him again, it was overwhelming, but you loved it, a smile coming to your face then a sigh while the sound of the TV turning on caught your attention, deciding it would be nice to just stay like this a little longer in his hold, you got comfortable on the couch while Kirishima and Tamaki had decided to join you both in watching the highlights of the best hero rescues and villain takedowns played by the afternoon talk show.

It was like that for most of the day, watching shows or movies, eating snacks, playing and thinking of names for the kitten, while talking about how how things are in life while trying to avoid.. Other subjects.

"So fellas how are things at UA? Is Eri doing ok?" Taishiro was the first to make conversation with the two boys over some takoyaki (of course) for lunch

"Oh yeah! She's doing great, check it out!" He mumbled pulling out his phone and flipping through something before landed on a photo and turning his screen to face the small group next to him.

Looking at the photo, Kirishima was looking down at the silver haired horned girl, who looked back up at him, both holding the same pose, fists together, toothy grins, showing off the manly stance with pride

You smiled at the sight, seeing the happy smiles, you couldn't have been happier yourself.

"That's adorable Kirishima, and very manly, you're starting to be more like a big brother figure" Taishiro mumbled, ruffling his hair a little earning a small chuckle from the young boy

"What about you Tamaki? Anything happened with you at UA?"

"Not really.. Things are.. Pretty well I guess.. I-i'm sorry I'm not that i-interesting to talk about.." He started to clam up a little, and you reached over to lightly rub his back "it's alright Tamaki, I don't have anything interesting to talk about either.." You reassured the shy boy, hearing a small chuckle coming from Tai until his phone ramg from his room, excusing himself from living room he headed towards his own, closing the door once he was inside.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　

I was able to get to my phone in time before the ringing completely stopped, but due to the rush I didn't really have time to see who was calling, figuring it might have been an emergency of some kind.

"Hello?"

"Hi sweetness~"

That voice... I knew it well.. Too damn well..

"Y-yūwaku?! Why are you calling me now?!"

"Aww Tai.. Come on, can't check up on a friend?~"

Friend? Seriously?? After everything that been happening, all those texts, the flirting, everything that had led up to this, I was no better.. Giving into her that night... Thinking about it now, I feel so stupid, and helpless..

"So here's the thing.. It's been a couple of weeks and.. I was sorta wondering if you're free right now we could grab lunch together! Just the two of us? Maybe... Catch up again?~"

The very thought of the idea, made my heart ache, knowing where this going, I decided to just hang up, throwing my phone onto the bed before sitting down onto the floor, covering my face with both of my hands.

Yūwaku Yokubõ.. Her quirk: Desire... The quirk she was born with made her a temptress.. She gives off a luring aura, making her irresistible to anyone caught by it.

We had been friends since high school, but lost contact soon after.. And just when it seemed like we wouldn't have seen each other again, fate couldn't have done enough to me already..

My phone buzzed, and I turned to look at who was calling, it was her again, I grabbed my phone and declined the call, deciding it would be best to turn it off for now, I fixed up myself, stoning my shaken face with one of more calm and collected, not wanting to worry the boys or Y/N with my troubles.

All I had to do was not let it bother me

»»——⍟——««»»——⍟——««»»——⍟——««»»——««

You look over at the two exhausted boys, leaning against one another, eyes slowly closing to give into the temptation of sleep, and watching as the little kitten in Tamaki's arm didn't fail to follow right behind his older brothers

Hearing footsteps you looked up to see Taishiro coming back, taking notice of his now, three boys dozing off

"Well.. It is kinda late.. We should get these guys to bed.. I'll call their teachers and tell them they'll be staying with me.." He mumbled before scratching his head "um.. You uh.. Have their contacts?"

You seemed confused by that question, but answered honestly "Yeah why?"

"Oh my.. My phone died and I can't find my charger at the moment.." He explained as you handed over your phone, letting him use it to call up the school teachers

You turned your attention over towards the young ones, leaning over to brush some hair out of Tamaki's face. Watching a smile grace the shy boy's face

You saw Taishiro coming back from the kitchen, handing your mobile device back to you, with a small "thank you" Before he went over to take Tamaki into his arms, mindful of the tiny feline as he took him to the spare room, deciding to help him out you took Kirishima, following after him to settle the young hero into bed.

You came just in time as Tai was about to come out to get the boy, you both stopped in your tracks, startled by one other's sudden showing, laughimg a little before he took the hardening hero from your arms, settling him onto the spare bed near Tamaki's own, he turned his guest room into one meant for his boys when they stay over, able to get two separate beds for them both so they could sleep comfortably.

Taishiro leaned down to give Kirishima a small kiss to his forehead, smiling before getting up and turning towards you

"So.. I.. Guess you're heading back home then?" He asked, bringing you out of your thoughts

"Oh.. Oh! Right.. I.. I guess I should.." You mumbled looking down, rubbing the back of your neck, looking up at him with a small smile, which he returned

"Will.. Will I see you again?" He asked, rather hopefully at that.

You smiled at him before shaking your head, taking the chance to walk over to him, looking him in the eyes while placing both your hands on his shoulders, his arms came around your waist, pressing his forehead against your own

"You know it's hard to stay away from a great guy like you Taishiro... It's unfair really..."

"No... I was unfair... I was unfair to you.. You didn't deserve that Y/N... I was just.." He gave a small sigh before continuing "I just missed you.. I missed your company, I missed things with us... There's no excuse for what I put us through though... So.. I can't say I'm that great of a guy.."

"It happens Tai... It was in the past... I don't wanna think about that I..." Your arms moved to wrap around him, hiding your face into his chest, he didn't hesitate to hold you closer to him, nuzzling into your head

"I just wanna stay with you..."

"... Do you... Have to go?"

"I don't have work tomorrow.. So.. I guess not.."

"Then... Do you wanna stay?"

You looked up at him, looking into those golden eyes, unable to look away, they seemed to come closer, slowly closing as well as your own before you felt his lips press against your own in a soft kiss, one that didn't really last long, but left you breathless.. Hungry...

Wanting more...

He seemed to have read your mind, pressing his lips against yours in a much more deeper longer kiss, your arms moving back to wrap around his neck, he lifted you into his arms, walking out of the room, shutting the door behind him to leave the boys to rest, running your fingers through his hair as he took you to his room, only pulling away from you to allow much needed air into your lungs, soon enough he opened the door to his bedroom, setting you onto the large bed as he continued to steal away your breath with deep longing kisses, his hands trailing up your figure, sending a shudder through your spine,

You couldn't get enough, and you didn't want him to stop, but he unfortunately did to ask you once more

"Y/N...do you wanna stay with me?"

It didn't seem like he continue any further if you didn't give him an answer. And to be honest.. You already knew what you wanted to say, with or without his addicting affection.

"Yes tai.. There's no where else I'd rather be..." You leaned up to give him one more kiss to his nose

"Than here with you..."

❃.✮:▹　◃:✮.❃❃.✮:▹　◃:✮.❃❃.✮:▹　◃:✮.❃❃.✮:▹　◃:.❃

(So i finally got this chapter done! After what? I don't even remember- but this is by far probably my longest one yet- I'm so sorry for the wait everyone, I hope it was worth it I really tried with this chapter after leaving you guys with nothing, I hope enjoyed this one, chapter five may be the last one, but hey we'll see. Anyways, I've got a ton more ideas on the way, so definitely look forward to those in the future. Till next time though. See ya!)

[harleenfleck]

Don’t forget me (Part. 3)

Arthur Fleck/Joker x Reader fic

Summary: After what happened in his apartment, and even though Arthur asked you not to, you watched that night the Murray Franklin’s Show, after that night, you didn't see Arthur again in a long time, and all that time you felt melancholy and lonely, until one day, a little surprise comes to you.

Warnings: Angst, comfort, sad thoughts and fluff

Words: 5.3k

Part one here <3, Part two here <3

A/N: Hello guys, first of all I KNOW, I know that I said that part 3 was going to be the last part of this story and that it was actually going to have NSFW content, BUT my two brain cells said “Do it more parts, MORE PAAAAARTS” and my heart said “Listen that two little bastards” and well, I’ll write a 4th part f this fic cause my heart and my two brain cells said it :$  Well, this story gonna have 4 parts, and the 4 part gonna have finally NSFW omg i’m so excited about that AHHH. Well, to finish this A/N I’m sorry if I make some grammatical, spelling or writing mistakes, English is not my native language. Enjoy this third part! :3 I hope you like it! 

...

“Please, don’t forget me”

“Never, my love”

The last words you’d shared with him. You remembered how fast you run in the worn wooden stairs. How you got out of that old building. So many things happened, a walk with your enemy, you witnessed of a murder, you see your best friend convert into a monster, and almost the same time, your lover.

He asked you for one thing, and you decided not do it. Remember when you came to your apartment, recharged your back against the wood, dropped to the ground and started crying in absolute silence. You passed your hand over your face, just to remember his touch. The images passed in your eyes so quickly, images of him, his face, his mouth, his green eyes. You passed almost three hours crying, so many emotions in your body, you feared your body couldn’t hold all feelings.  

You remembered when after that hours you tried to calm yourself, you were on it when the phone suddenly rang. You got up off the ground and ran to this one, waiting for your Arthur to be on the other side of the line. But for your disappointment, was Gary. He, ignorant of absolutely everything that happened, asked for Arthur, for Randall and his condolences had been sent to Arthur. What could you tell Gary? That Arthur had lost his mind? that Randall was dead? You decided to protect Arthur, protect him even if his act was horrible. You said to Gary some lies, like Randall never went to the subway station, you go alone and you and Arthur talked about a lot of things. Gary said something like "I told you Y/N" and kept talking. When the talk was over, you hung up nervously.

Looked the at clock, 15 minutes before the Murray Show. Nervous and eager to watch the show, you tentatively approached your couch and turned on the TV, turned on the channel and waited anxiously. Before Murray's show there were some news, you saw about some clown protests, you couldn't believe that all this had been caused by Arthur. The news was over, Ellis Drane and his orchestra drums were played, the show started. You watched the show without interest in Murray and the others guest, you just waited until Arthur's turn came. And when he appears, you felted so happy for him, despites he appears with a new name: Joker. When you saw him, you felt so much joy, coming out of those curtains dancing, spinning, greeted the presenters, but you not really like the joke that Arthur kissed Dr. Sally. You really jealous of an old lady? Maybe.

The show went smoothly, you waited why Arthur didn't want you to watch the show. Nothing bad seemed to happen, more than Murray's mocked of Arthur with the others guests. Was it serious? Did they make fun of Arthur even on that show? You could feel the anger in your stomach. But surrender, you heard Arthur's black humor joke, which worried you, why Arthur would make jokes like that? He was scolded by Dr. Sally and Murray but he don't care about they words, and then, what you didn't expect happened: Arthur confessed his crime.

It was a huge moment of tension, from how all the joy of the show changed abruptly to a more serious and darker tone. Why would Arthur do that? Why would he confess he killed that three rich of the subway to everyone? You couldn't believe it. And that wasn't the worst. Arthur said things that had sense to you because he told you every horrible thing he lived before. Maybe no one would understand because Arthur said they were all awful, only you could understand it.

The tension between Arthur and Murray was rising, you feared that Arthur would lose control again, you tried to call the show while still watching TV, but (obviously) your call was not answered. You went back to the couch, without expecting it to happen, which could happen, and then...

Arthur pulled out that cursed gun and pointed Murray's head.

"ARTHUR NO!"

Shot.

The symphony of terror was heard, screaming from people, a one of the guests hugging a hysterical Dr. Sally, Murray's bloodied body, and Arthur dancing, then he come to the camera and saying the words:

“Goodnight, and always remember, that’s li-“

You closed your eyes, you started crying one more time. You knew Arthur had asked you, and you should have listened to him. Your heart broke again, your body trembled once more. Arthur had hurt you again.

“Y/N? Y/N? Earth to Y/N, are you in?”

You blinked; you were watching the TV of your new job. It was the news, announcing the anniversary of that terrible event.

“Yeah, sorry, I distracted a little”

“Y/N, you’re been rare those weeks, are you okay?”

“Yes, sorry Celeste, I’m gonna… Clean that”

A year passed from that event, in that year, things had changed too much. You lost your job at Ha-ha's, result that was the place where the terrible criminal Joker had come from, all the clowns in there lost their job. Hoyt was turned a rage, he was understandable, he had lost his business. Some clowns got a job at other agencies, others simply stopped being a clown and preferred to dedicate themselves to something else. You and Gary were from that second group of people. Gary decided to go back to his native Vermont, however, being a good friend to you, he managed to get you a job with some old friends. Now you worked in a small but charming cake shop.

"Celeste, Y/N, hello ladies. I'm back with the sugar and butter�� Peter, another coworker from the shop, entered to the place "Well Peter! You'd better help me! Orders are delayed!" Celeste was a very kind woman, but she quickly lost the patience, Peter, who was a little older than you, just laughed and carried things. "What's the matter Y/N? Are you sad again?"

“No, I’m just… Just watching the news again”

“The news again? Y/N, watch a lot of news not good for your mental health, why don’t put the music channel or something kindlier?”

“… I can’t do that” Slowly, you turned your head to the TV again. The news said a lot of terrible crimes after that event. Most of these crimes were attributed to a single criminal: The Joker. After Murray was killed, Joker was arrested, but in the course of jail the patrol was intercepted by more clowns and Joker was free. And so, he began a terrible reign of crimes all over Gotham for a long time.

"Now, this dangerous man still free of the justice, it’s considerate a lunatic criminal, many criminalities that our poor city has suffered have been under his hand. The police can't find where this guy is hiding, who is now known as "The Clown Prince of Crime" and t-"

The Tv turned black “Peter!” You yelled.

“Sorry little princess, but this is for you, I don’t want you get sick for this. I know you get nervous of that clown, honestly, I get nervous too, but you have to continue your life, that clown not gonna go for you specifically, just the people with bad luck drop to his Clown Clan. Don’t worry Y/N, you’ll be okay”

“Peter! The sugar and butter!” Celeste screamed from the kitchen.

“Sorry Celeste! I’m coming!” Peter run to the kitchen and you still cleaned the counter. Maybe Peter was right, you shouldn’t get worry for Joker, but you don’t really get worried, you got sad, sad for Joker, because you know under the makeup and the costume, Arthur are there. You were hoping Arthur would be there. A year passed and maybe Arthur was right, maybe you’d never see him again, like he said to you.

You knew he was doing bad things, all the damage they caused him was returning ferociously, he was no longer a weak person that people could mock, he was someone that people should be afraid of, and poor of the one who scoffed him, because that someone would give it to you would end up their corpse in a Gotham blackwater canal. Just imagining Arthur dressed as a clown, like that last time you saw him, killing someone mercilessly and cruelly.

And for some reason, it didn't cause you conflict, you didn't fall into the reality of the danger he had become, you knew it wasn't your Arthur anymore, but you still loved him. Despite that horrible things he does it, you still in love with him. Of course, in that year, some boys and man tried something with you, including Peter, who wasn't giving up yet, but none of those boys were Arthur. None of them were him. And despite all the time, you still felted the butterflies in your stomach when you thought in him, you cheeks get blushed when you remembered you two almost made the love in that old bed, your lip trembled when the memory of your first kiss with him touched your soul again. Memories stalked you as if they were a ghost in your room in the dark, but a ghost you weren't afraid about.

You put your head in the counter and got a big breath, what you can do in that moment about Arthur? What can you do with your feelings? What can you do with that love that wasn’t for anyone, that love was just for him?  “I’m really fucked up” you whispered to yourself.

The days after you did your work routine. You'd come to the cakeshop, make coffee for your companions and to sell too, help Celeste decorate some cakes, while Peter made other cakes and desserts. When the cakes to sell were ready, you put them in some refrigerators and you were going to serve the customers at the counter. One particular day, you were alone at the counter while Celeste was screaming at Peter for not making gingerbread man biscuits, the winter times were coming. You wanted to turn on the TV, but you knew you'd only put the news to see if there was anything new with Joker. You had to control yourself, while secretly eating a slice of cake that Peter had given you along with a rose. He was someone very meticulous, willing to win your heart, even you had kindly mentioned to him on previous occasions that you weren't interested in being someone's girlfriend. Well, only one person, but it was definitely out of your reach.

The bell above the front door rang. You saved the cake quickly, you didn't want Celeste to yell at you, even though she never done it before. But wasn't a customer, was a delivery man. “It’s the lady Y/N working here?”

“Yes, I am”

“Well, this is for you” You poked your head out of the corner just to find with a huge bouquet of …

“Lilies? That’s are a Lilies?! I love the lilies!” You went straight to the delivery man and took the bouquet with your hands. You are blushed again. At this point, Celeste realized what was going on and ran away, excited that you had received flowers. Peter only watched the scene from afar. You thanked the delivery man and he just left.

“Oh! Y/N! Look at you! What a beautiful bouquet! And your smile! Wait, I have here my camera! Wait Y/N!” Celeste runs for her camera. You still watching your flowers, your eyes were full of charm. Celeste returned and took you a lot of pictures, asking you to pose near the cakes and desserts.

“Take it! All for you Y/N! Oh my god, I hope that boy who sent you these flowers has won your heart” Celeste gave you all the polaroid, a burning smell made her remember that she had left a couple of cupcakes in the cooker and ran into the kitchen. You and Peter were alone.

"Well, this is a beautiful detail, lilies have always been my favorites"

"So, my little princess, that mean I have a rival and he’d basically beaten me this time?"

“Rival? Wait, wasn’t you?”

“No. I’m a man of roses, I never thought in lilies. Well, I hope that riv-“ Celeste claim help of Peter, he had no choice but to follow his boss's orders. When Peter left the place you wondered to yourself, Peter wasn't the one who sent you those flowers? Even if it had some logic, since you never told him that lilies were your favorite flowers. You tried to remember the boys and men who tried to conquer you, and none of them you had mentioned that lilies were your favorite flowers. Then you remembered the only man you told that little piece of you.

That’s Impossible. You thought, because that’s true, that's impossible. He’s now a criminal, a bad man, even some press said he was a terrorist. And all that they said about him was on your knowledge, because you witnessed one of his first crimes. Of course, he wouldn't have time to do something like that, you even thought maybe he'd consider that cheesy. Actually, you thought he had already forgotten you.

You looked at your flowers, you went for a little vase that only accumulated dust, washed it and put water in it, so your flowers could hold out a little longer before taking to home. You looked in for a note that indicated who would have been the secret admirer, but there were no clues. Knowing you wouldn't have your answer, you back to work.

That night, you left a little late for work, said goodbye to Celeste and Peter, and walked to your house, the job was closer to your house, you didn't have to run like on previous occasions when you worked at Ha-ha's. However, you turned a corner where street lighting failed, looking very scary. You walked a little further, looking everywhere, making sure no one came near you. You hated having to go down that street. Fortunately, nothing bad happened that time.

You arrived safely home, you put your beautiful lilies in a vase. You had that silly smile on your face. No Y/N, it can't be him. You thought for yourself. He's now busy in... Another kind of thing. I don't think he remember you.  Those words, no matter than they sounded, were full of reason. But you gave yourself the little luxury of thinking in him, imagining that he actually sent you those flowers and that he would soon come back to you. Just imagine, but no more illusions.

The next day, you did the same thing every day, but there was a special glow this time in you. Celeste, your boss, noticed. "My God Y/N, you look so radiant and so happy, I'd love to meet your lovely prince to congratulate him," she said excitedly as she put some chocolate cookies and gingerbread man cookies in a basket, you just laughed. When Celeste came back to the kitchen, Peter came up to you.

"I'd also like to meet that charming prince who has you delighted. Looks like he wants to make your days sweeter."

Laughing, you went to the cookie basket and took one of the gingerbread man cookies in your hands, smiling foolishly.

“Well, I don’t think he’s a prince charming, Actually, I don’t like the concept of prince charming”

“No? And what you like?”

You watched TV at the time, one more news of Joker, just in that moment, a picture of him came out on screen, with that wicked but charming smile.

“Another kind of prince" You bit the cookie along with a smile.

…

You didn't even know if it was him, but as the days went on, the delivery man with more lilies returned to you, Celeste became exaggeratedly happy and Peter gradually realized that he was not going to achieve his goal of you falling in love with him. Of course, he wouldn't, he even stopped calling you “Little princess" like he once in a while, and being honestly, you hated how he dubbed you that way. Things were going well in your life, for the first time in a long time, but soon, everything would take an unexpected turn for you.

One night, coming home with another bouquet of lilies in your hands, you'd come out of the elevator to head to your apartment, only to find another surprise at your doorstep: Another bouquet of flowers, but they were not lilies or roses, it was a Bouquet of artificial flowers that came out of a magic wand. And you knew that magic wand perfectly. You took it with your free hand, in this bouquet if there was a note, and there was only one letter: J. Your senses trembled with that note. Immediately you entered the apartment, however, there was nobody.

You were impressed, would it be him? Would he come back for you? You didn't know, and it would be best if he got out of hiding once and for all. You were getting too excited about his return. Or maybe he wanted to let you know he was okay. But your heart inflated like a balloon again, and you were floating in love. You did your nighttime bedtime routine before you went to sleep, but instead of wearing your usual pajamas, you wore a short nightgown in a silk robe, something inside you said you had to wear it. You sat in your bed, waiting for that "something" that had to happen, but while you waited, you fell asleep soundly.

Knock knock

“Huh?” You heard someone knocking, quickly you get out of the bed, stumbling, because the knocked of the door sounds more and more louder. “Coming!” You yelled and before to open the door you looked at the clock, who would be knocking on your door at 1 A.M.? Without looking through the peephole, you opened the door, and you could swear that your heart stopped for a few seconds.

“Hello Y/N”

“…A-Arthur?”

He was there, in your door, with his green hair, that elegant clown suit, that clown makeup, breathing deeply, and with his pretty smile. Arthur was there, converted in Joker.

“It’s been a very long time, don’t you think?”

You didn't know what to answer, because again you speechless. You just opened the door more, implying he could get into your apartment, and so he did. You closed the door slowly, not knowing what to do say. Arthur was back in your life, your suspicions (or rather desires) would come true, and you didn't know how to react. You must have been angry about leaving you and becoming a dangerous criminal? Or smile at him, thank him for coming back and giving him a warm welcome?

“Oh, I see you received all my little gifts, your house looks so adorable with that lilies, you like it Y/N?” Arthur said when he was seeing all the bouquets you received in every little place of your apartment. He noticed you don’t say nothing and he worried, no longer smiling. Without words to said, you looked at his face, you felted like in one of that dreams you had when you miss him.

“W-what are you doing here?” You asked something frightened, fearing that all of that was really a dream. But it wasn't, Arthur was just next to you, or how he called himself now, Joker. He was a little skeptical of your question, doubting if he should answer it or not, because he did not know how to explain his sudden appearance.

“Oh… Well… It’s… It’s complicated to explain” He giggled nervously, and you don’t understand why “I… Just want to see you, but also, I got in a trouble too…”

“Wait, what?” shaking your head, you suddenly get confused “What you want to say, you’re in danger?”

“No exactly that, if were like danger, I would have looked for another hiding place. I just… Running of the police…”

“Oh…” You felt a little confused. Your mind thought of something that immediately hurt your feelings, He only come back to you just to hide? For a moment you believed he was actually there for you. You were always trying to see the good side of things, but this time it was impossible. Your sad face was evident instantly, but you separate yourself from him and turned your back on him before he could notice your disenchantment “I-I think you can stay here, while the cops, well, you know, stop looking you or something” You hated yourself because in this time you couldn’t hiding your emotions, your broke voice ratted you and he perceived it.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Arthur asked when he walked to you, put himself in front you, so, he could see how you tried to hiding your face to him. “Y/N? What happens baby?”

“Everything… Everything happened Arthur… It’s just… Strange to me this”

“Strange? Why you say that?”

“Because… I don’t know… I-I just to think you won’t back again after you converted in Joker… I mean, I always heard about you in the news for all crimes you committed, and I really thought you don’t remember me, but you’re… you’re here again and… Oh, what the hell I’m talking? I’m sorry, this is stupid” You felt silly, more when the tears started to fall on your cheeks. You tried to step aside, but Arthur stopped you

“Hey Y/N, come here” He immediately hug you, and you couldn’t hold it, you broke in tears in his chest while he caressed your head and neck. You could feel his body against yours, you could feel his arms start to surround you, you could even hear his heart beating. It was real, so real. Definitely that wasn’t a dream. “I know, I know I was so away from you, I know I did some bad things, a lot of horrible things. I didn't want you to be related to me, both police and some enemies I've got” While the tears run out of your eyes, you still hugged him tighter.

He whispered in your ear “You want to hear a secret?" You nodded and Arthur took your cheeks "There was no day I didn't stop thinking about you. I missed you Y/N; you can’t imagine how much I missed you. I just wanted to protect you, that’s all, protect you..." Suddenly his voice weakened in the last word and his eyes stopped staring at you. Now it was your turn to worry about him.

“Arthur?”

“I said I wanted to protect you, but… Always want to protect you I hurt you, in some way I did it… Fuck…” You felted his body shaking while he put his face in your shoulder “I’m so sorry Y/N…”

“Arthur… You… Don’t be sorry, please… It’s okay, I swear it’s okay” You can’t stop to hug the each one, slowly, you smelled the scent of his hair, was the same scent you knew perfectly “You know what? I missed you too, God, you don’t have idea…”

“Long year, right?” You two shared a laugh. You took his hands and looked him in the eye, acting like a girl really in love with her boyfriend, because that's what you were, a girl in love with her boy. You led him to the couch and both sat down, you two had so many things to say to each other.

“What did you do this time for the cops to be looking for you?"

“Eh, nothing special, I just wanted to do something little, nothing that could hurt anyone”

“But what you did it?”

“I wanted to rob a jewelry store” Blinked, you laugh a little. He seconded the laugh.

“Why you want to steal a jewelry store?”

“Well, the other day I looked a pretty necklace, I swear it, that necklace was white with a little gem that looked like a drop, I observed it and I think of you. I said “This is for Y/N”, obviously I want more for you, but this one was special, this necklace was for you. I wanted to took it for our reunion. I was planned all, but the cops ruined all my plans”

"What were your plans Arthur?" You asked full of curiosity, you wanted to know how was the mysterious plan of Arthur to come back to you.

"Oh... Well, I wanted to do something that surprised you. It wasn't easy to find you after Ha-ha's closed, I looked for you in everywhere place of all Gotham, and after a lot I found you. I wanted to go into that cake shop where you work, ask you maybe a couple of desserts to taste them later, give you that beautiful necklace that I'm sure will look beautiful on your neck and take you with me"

“W-What?”

“You heard it. I want you; I want you with me, I only thought in you this year. I decided you'd come with me, but I didn't want to put you at risk, that’s why I take my time, but everything isn't ready yet, I still can't take you with me. I have to fix a couple more things to make you completely safe."

Arthur said it with great emotion, because it was what he had waited for so long, he wanted to take you to his place, protect you in his own way from Gotham's adversity, he knew better than anyone how cruel and terrible crime could become in the city and did not want you to be part of those figures that the press used to

“Oh…” However, despite how excited Arthur looked, how enthusiastic he was to tell you all his plans, for some reason you saw the pessimistic side of things. It was something you've been used to since Arthur let the darkest part of his being come out. With much fear and tears threatening to come out of your eyes again, you asked him a question “Are you saying you would let me again?”

Confused, Arthur looked at you and realized what you meant “No, no, definitely no Y/N” He hugged you again, putted his hands in your back and caressed “I promise you I’ll back, I swear”

“I don’t want you to leave again, please don’t leave me” The drops stained the red fabric of his blazer "You have no idea how many times I've dreamed of you, believing you were by my side when you really you are not there. Please, stay here, stay here" You had to repeat that twice because it was what your soul asked, to stay with you again “I don't fucking care if you're someone dangerous now, if you're someone everyone should be afraid of, just stay here please… Stay here."

Hearing you cry and begging broke Arthur's heart, he felt guilty of leaving you alone for so long. You were the only person who could calm that dark part of himself, you were the only one who could serene Joker.

"Listen…" He stopped hugging you to take your cheeks, he made you see his face "Of course I won't leave you alone Y/N, you're the best girl I've ever met, you're the only person who really loved me, if I got a choice to spend my whole life by your side, I would do it without thinking about it. You're my one and only one, I don’t wanna miss you again…"

“Arthur…” His name trembled on your lips. That name haunted you for a long time.

"I love you so much Y/N, and I want to protect you, let me take care of some matters, some things that... What do I have to do, work to do, then I'll come for you and we'll be together, okay?"

“… Okay”

Caressed your face with his hand, Arthur calms you with his touch.

"I'll be with you tonight. And before you know it, we'll be back together, what do you say?"

"I could wait for you for a year, I can wait for you for my whole life"

At that moment, you noticed that Arthur took off his blazer along with his yellow vest. You were frozen for a moment, until he spoke.

"You must be tired, I interrupted your dream, come here" Arthur wrapped you back in his arms, as he recharged his back on the back of the sofa. You lay on his chest, feeling his warm, and hearing his heart beats. "Let's sleep together tonight"

"Yes, you have to stay tonight, I don't want the police to catch you and this time ruin our real plans".

He laughed at your comment, but despite the enormous confidence he had gained at that time, you could feel beneath you his anxiety in his leg, which he kept moving. For a moment, you thought you two were going to return what you had left pending in his old apartment, but Arthur was just hugging you, stroking your hair and your face. Maybe he wasn't ready to take that step with you yet, maybe he thought doing it with him at a time like that would be a bit rushed. Maybe he wanted to keep that special moment between you two when you were finally together safely. And you realized he hadn't even kissed you on your lips, but you knew deep in your heart that he still loved you.

Your eyelids become heavy, and you fell into a deep sleep. Arthur was just looking at you as you rested in his arms. He really loved you, he wanted you to be just his and for him. And he hated having to keep waiting. But he knew everything in the end would be worth it…

He just saw all the lilies he gave you in those last few weeks, and the scent of those flowers made him sleep early

…

You woke up, you still felt his arms in your body, feeling protected. But his arms were no longer there, nor was his body under yours either. You woke up completely to realize you were alone in your apartment's living room. You blinked many times and looked everywhere. Was that a dream too?

If it was, I'm really fucked

You got up off the couch, started looking all over your apartment, realizing you were completely alone. You let yourself down, that dream had felt so real, and you be concerned too, your imagination was long lived lately. You had to take a shower before you went to work at the bakery. At the end of it all, it had been a great dream.

But when you were preparing the bathtub, you decided to look in the mirror, and you found out there was red and white paint on your forehead and cheek, plus there was another little stain on the knuckles of your hand. You came out of the bathroom and you didn't realize there was a small note on the small table in the living room. You took it between your fingers, excited and read it.

"Sorry I left without saying goodbye, though now that I think about it, there shouldn't be a goodbye, because there won't be any more goodbyes, right, Y/N? I'll be back soon for you, it's a promise. I won't forget you.

J”

And then, that silly smile in your face appears. You kissed that note. Definitely was a promise.

Continue.

[stephenkohlbear]

The Assistant And The Comedian

Genre: fluff, slight angst if you squint

Word Count: 1,812

Summary: you're Stephen's assistant and it's the first day of the Late Show. Before the show, the two of you share a tender moment, but Stephen has trouble coming to terms with his feelings.

Being Stephen Colbert's assistant was both tiring and sort of fun. For most parts, you can get anything from other people in the blink of an eye just by mentioning his name. Paperwork can get done and filed with ease, But just because your work-life was easy, didn’t mean that your personal life was any different.

Your boyfriend, Robert, viewed your job as an inconvenience. He couldn't comprehend how you were able to "tolerate an idiot like Colbert." He brought it up every chance he could, making you feel guilty about your job. The last argument you'd had resulted in him admitting his jealousy. 

He scoffed, "I mean seriously, Y/N, he's so full of himself, for goodness sake, he has a building with his own name on it!" 

"You have absolutely no idea what he's like, Robert!" You hastily continued to shove your clothes into a bag. 

"Of course I do! I go with you to every one of those damn parties he throws! The man is such an asshole," he threw his hands up, "everything he does, he does to spite me. All the dinners, parties, and late nights. Who the hell needs to work late to discuss guest appearances!" 

You abruptly stopped your shoving. "Are you suggesting I'm sleeping with my boss?" 

"Yes," he snapped, "I am."

You sighed heavily, "Can anyone tell me where Stephen is?" 

Today was the beginning of a new chapter in Stephen's life, and everyone who worked for him. After 5 months of being off the air, he was returning to TV as the host of The Late Show. 

Of course, you were thrilled for what lie ahead, yet you worried about how the public would view Stephen. For the first time in ten years he wouldn't be behind the mask he'd always worn. He'd be himself, the real Stephen Colbert, the one you've always known.

Paul walked by, a mic and props in his hands, "Check his office." 

You listened to him and made your way to Stephen's office, only to find him sitting at his desk. 

"Stephen," 

He raised his hands in defense, "I know, I know," he sighed, "I'll be out in a minute," he stood up to walk over to the window, admiring the cars below, "just first day jitters." 

You set the papers in your hands down on to his desk before walking over to where he stood. You stood so closely that both your shoes touched, like they always did. You and Stephen had been like this for years.

Neither of you minded your bodies accidentally brushing against each other; you barely dodged him anymore when it happened. 

You didn’t mind the occasional touch on the shoulder, on the arm, on a thigh even. You would lean over and dab a runaway drop of sauce off each other one’s face and think nothing of it. 

You hugged to celebrate. You hugged to console. Sometimes you just hugged for the hell of it. The concept of personal space was almost entirely lost to the two of you. 

Everything felt heavy, weighed down by the tension in the small office. Stephen glanced down at you. Never before did you feel this feeling that was currently rising in your chest. 

There was just something different about Stephen that you couldn’t quite place. Perhaps it was his sharp and elegant appearance that had you at a loss of words. Possibly his grin, or even those dark brown and beautiful eyes of his.

The glass windows showcased both your figures, standing inches apart from each other. Stephen loved moments like these. He loved admiring you, even if you weren't interested in him, he cherished you, he always had. 

He was in love with you. 

He was in love with you and planned to be in love with you for the rest of his life, if you would let him. Stephen had always said there was no greater testament than love itself. 

To him, love was in every sense of the word to offer his entire heart and place it on someone's bare hands, in this case your hands, despite knowing that you might crush it before his very eyes.

Your eyes sparkled in the night as the street lights from below hit them. He noticed all the things you didn’t, all the things you couldn’t.

He hesitantly opened his mouth to speak, "Oh thank God! Stephen where have you been?" The moment was interrupted by Paul, "we need you in hair and makeup for touch ups, we have an hour until show time." 

Stephen brought his right hand to his temples, rubbing them dubiously, "Paul, please I'll be right there, just give me a second," he stared at his best friend, a hint of annoyance in his eyes.

He seemed to have gotten the message and quickly exited the room, "alright, alright." The door shut softly.

Stephen turned to you again, smiling weakly, "I was going to say something," his smile faded," but it looks like I don't have much time." He glanced at his watch

Your eyes fell to the floor, "it's okay."

Stephen brought a finger to your chin, slowly lifting it, "Could my lovely assistant help me with my tie before I leave?" He's almost shy, speaking with an air of delicacy.

“Anything for my favorite comedian,” you jest, moving to fiddle with the black silk, “Windsor knot?”

"Y/N you know me all too well."

The moment is quiet, and you take your time to make the knot even and clean, your fingertips grazing the hot skin of his neck as you flip up his collar. His aftershave is heavy, dark and very Stephen. You find yourself feeling a little small under his gaze, as it burns into you.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Stephen says, his voice lilting with something sweet, “just admiring the view.”

You laugh, your current choice of clothing was nothing to swoon over. You'd chosen a plain pearl dress shirt, black dress pants, all to be topped off with a pair of Vans. Needless to say you were a mess. 

Stephen’s eyes widen, and his lips part, confusion flashing through his eyes as he glances at you, “Hey!” He pouts, brows furrowing. "You're breathtaking.” 

You avoided eye contact as you laid his tie down, flattening it. "Thank you, Y/N." You nod.

You can't see it, but he smiles tenderly, wishing he had the courage to admit his feelings, to say what he'd been dying to say since he'd hired you. 

You smile, looking up at Stephen’s pretty visage. His office light casts a dim shadow on his face that insinuates his long, model-like eyelashes, showing the faint redness in his cheeks.

He holds back smiling like the fool he is. Admittedly, he is a hopeless romantic at heart, although the pursuit of pure heartbreak looms over him, almost taunting him. 

You brought him back down to earth, when everything feels as if falling apart or moving too far away. One look at you, and his breathing was steady. His heart rate picks up a bit, and his hands are clammy. Not because he’s scared, but because you make him nervous. 

You touch his soul so deeply, to the point where he is completely, and utterly vulnerable to your grasp. 

He loved the conversations you two had late at night, as you both forced your eyes to stay open a little bit longer. They were energy-filled with debates about love, adoration, knowledge, truths, and so much more. He wanted more of it, more of you. 

As he stands there, in the moment, admiring you as stand before him, he wishes he wasn't so terrified of loving you. Given his past relationships, forming a fresh new ache and vulnerability, for yet another person frightens the fuck out of him. 

"Y/N," he breathes heavily, "thank you, for everything," he leans down to place a gentle kiss on your cheek, "I'll see you after the show." He exits the room, leaving you alone in his office. 

"That's a wrap everyone! Thank you all so much for a great first show," Stephen raises his glass, "and here's to many more!" 

The entire staff is smiling and cheering, yourself included, at Stephen, who currently stood on the roof of the theater. The after party was in full swing.  

After his toast, everyone went back to partying, which left Stephen to himself. Stephen bobs his head and chews at his lip. His smile is anxious, despite the elated, conspiratorial expressions on everyone else. They’re all too distracted by their own excitement to notice that the man who gave it to them isn’t all there. 

He's too distracted by the thought of you. 

Hastily he jumped off the roof, and on to the floor, not acknowledging your presence. You cleared your throat, hoping he'd hear you over the noise currently being emitted from the partygoers. 

"Hey," he beamed, "I missed you." You blush at his comment, still flustered by the kiss from earlier. 

Slowly he makes his way to you, “Can I have this dance, Y/N?” He holds his hand out to you, kneeling in front of you as if you are royalty. You play along and give your best royal accent.  

“Of course.” You place your left hand softly in his right, his eyes glisten under the light, making you smile. He pulls you closer to him, one arm securely around your waist, while your arm rests on his shoulder, playing the curls at the nape of his neck. 

You both swayed to the rhythm of the music, completely ignoring the fact that some of the staff was watching. In this second, in this minute, it didn’t matter. 

As you dance, time felt slow. Together, you danced to the music, feet in perfect sync to the beating of your heart. As the song progressed, you felt relaxed as you let the words of the song tell each other how you feel. You allowed a small smile to form on your lips, and he reciprocates.

His eyes are deep and irresistible, but never leaving yours. He leans in and places a soft kiss on your lips, causing your heartbeat to accelerate. 

The warmth between the both of you grows more powerful by the second, as you get more emotional with the song. Your heartbeat was growing steadily along with it. 

Stephen decided to let go. Let his worries, his pain, and sorrow go. Right here, right now, he was living. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore, except for you. 

You continue to dance until the song ended causing you to fall into his arms for a hug. You feel him kiss the top of your head, with a smile still lingering on his lips. 

“Guess what?” He mumbles into your ear, causing you to look up at him. 

“What?”

"I love you."

[ellanainthetardis]

Okay this is pretty dark so feel free not to do it, but chapter 531 was AMAZING and I couldn't help but think: what if Effie attempted suicide before Haymitch got there? Haymitch would still show up and probably tell her family off but that's your choice if you decide to write it :) As always LOVE your work and adore your spirit. Drama from before was ridiculous ❤❤❤❤❤❤

Here you go! [X]

A Match Made In Madness

Lyssa checked the nursery before addressing the commotion downstairs.

Bryden and Timotheo were still there, playing some board game under thedistracted eyes of the governess who doubled as a nanny. Her boys looked justas sad and lost as they had been since the end of the war and it made her heartclench to see them so. Although her heart clenched a lot nowadays. Every timeshe thought about her dead husband, about the rebels forcing him to face afiring squad…

More noises from downstairs made her leave the nursery unnoticed. Shequickened her pace along the familiar corridors of her childhood home, longingfor the loved walls of her own house. Her destroyedhouse that had been reduced to dust and ashes. Like the rest of her life.

It had been difficult enough to come back to her parents’ house pleadingfor a place to live, the formidable inheritance of the Flavershyms forbidden toher because Rufus had once been a Gamemaker for two years, which now meant thatnot only had he deserved to be murdered without any dignity on live TV but thatall his money and assets had been stolen by the government. She had never felt hatred before. Now she knew what ittasted like.

Yes, it had been difficult to come back and ask for a safe haven to waitfor the rebel storm to pass, all the more so knowing business was declining andher father was having problems keeping their fortune balanced. They lived witha reduced staff, they never went on endless shopping sessions anymore and theydidn’t receive. Even her mother, while desperate to keep up appearances, seemedaware of the looming threat. Elindra was playing a dangerous game of trying toclimb back up the social circles while not spending a cent more than sheabsolutely needed.

Lyssa could have lived with all that if it hadn’t been for her sister.

She had always loved Effie.

Oh, how she hated her now…

It was her fault. Everythingwas her fault. It had been herfriends putting Lyssa’s life upside down, herfriends ransacking the Capitol, her friendssentencing her and her sons to poverty, herfriends who had shot Rufus… And it had been her who had refused to help when Lyssa and Elindra had gone to herhospital room and begged for her tointervene.

Effie had almost laughed in their faces, had kept lying about having next to no power… To stay in her lover’s goodgrace, surely. For the good it had done her sister… Haymitch Abernathy had leftfor Twelve with his damn Mockingjayafter starting just enough rumors that everybody in Panem knew Effie Trinkethad escaped death because she had allowed him to settle between her thighs morethan once. It was shameful. And evenmore shameful to be associated with her.

Lyssa hated her for not helping Rufus. And all because her sister hadalways been viciously jealous ofLyssa’s life of course. She had always tried to understand Effie, hadtirelessly worked to get close despite the distance her sister kept her at, hadalways loved her no matter what….

Oh, the day Effie had showed up on their parents’ doorstep, with a pitifulpink suitcase and no money to speak of… The government had taken everything away from her sister too.Sweet irony.

Their mother had been determined to send her away – to Twelve, why not?Out of sight out of mind. But their father, as angry as he was with Effie,wouldn’t consent to it. Family was family.

So they all lived in that house and it would have been unbearable enoughon account of the tight quarters but, naturally,her sister had to make it worse by going insane.And all for attention, Lyssa was sure of it.

Effie hid. There was no other wordfor it.

She roamed the house, avoided the staff, ducked in empty rooms everytime Mother called her… She spent her days in pajamas too. When she wasn’twearing the old tattered man shirt she was carrying it around like an oddtalisman… She never brushed her hair. She never wore make-up. Sometimes, shecurled up in corners or behind some pieces of furniture and she rocked onherself, completely lost to the world. In those moments it was as if she wasn’tthere anymore. And of course she had screamed herself raw at night, runningaround the house like a madwoman, until Elindra had bought her sleeping pillsand instructed her to use them…

The pills weren’t doing much good. Only the other day she had almost runoff the street… If their father hadn’t caught her… It had been frightening towatch her fight him off as if she didn’t know him at all. Their mother had stared,clutching her dressing gown to her chest, terror and horror battling on herface… Effie had collapsed eventually, as if something in her had just snapped… She had collapsed in theirfather’s arms and had sobbed until Lyssa had clapped her hands and had hoardedher own children back to bed…

Their aunt frightened them.

All for attention, Lyssa was sure of it.

Effie had behaved more or less normally at first. She had visited theMellark boy at the clinic every afternoon, like clockwork. Her mornings hadbeen spent looking for a job. Thathad stopped quickly enough when it had turned out that people only had threeadjectives for her: traitor, slut or monster – personally, Lyssa agreed withall three. People didn’t want to be associated with the surviving escort. Sowhen Mellark had been shipped back to Twelve, Effie had stopped going out.

She needed to find her importance somewhere so she was grasping fortheir parents’ attention. Because they were too sympathetic to Lyssa’s loss andgod forbids the spotlight not beingon Effie…

Her behavior wasn’t normal though.

The other day, at dinner – a dinner Effie had attended in her old tatteredbaggy shirt like a ruffian – Lyssa had casually suggested they should have hercommitted. Their mother has tut-tutted disapprovingly but the glance she hadexchanged with her husband had told Lyssa they had had that particularconversation before. Effie must have realized it too because she had gone completely crazy then.

She had tried to leave the house, tossing everything she owned in hersuitcase and swearing she wouldn’t cause them any more troubles… She had beenraving about being locked-up and escaping and what not. It wasn’t until theirfather had sworn they wouldn’t have her sent away and their mother had pointed outthat there was no way to do that without damaging their reputation further thatEffie had calmed down.

All for attention. Like everything else.

She reached the stairs just as the voices rose in fury.

“You have no business here!”her mother shrieked. “Leave before I call the authorities!”

“Lady, I don’t hit women as a rule but I swear if you don’t step aside…”a male voice warned.

“Let him in.” Lyssa instructed, her calm tone effectively cuttingthrough the argument. She wasn’t one for dramatic entrances, that had alwaysbeen more Effie’s scene, but she couldn’t deny she enjoyed the way eyes turnedon her. She knew how she looked after all, even in black, she looked ravishing.She dismissed the maid with a casual wave of the hand and the girl hurriedaway. “Think about the neighbors, Mother.”

That did the trick.

Elindra almost dragged the man inside and hastily closed the door behindhim before anxiously peering through the small window.

“Where’s she?” Haymitch Abernathy asked, directing his question to her.

Lyssa took a moment to study the victor, unable to see what was soappealing about him. His clothes were creased as if he had traveled all nightand hadn’t taken the time to change and freshen up before showing up – ahypothesis that the traveling bag he dropped at his feet encouraged, she dearly hoped he wasn’t entertaining anythought of them hosting him. His hair was long, dirty and hadn’t seen a comb infar too long. Uneven rough stubble covered his chin and jaws. He had broadshoulders and he looked strong but his chest didn’t appear firm at all.

“She is not here.” Elindra bravely lied. “I do not know what you heard but Effie has a very nice proper boyfriend. She does not need you to soil her reputationagain. She is doing very well for herself.You are not welcome here and I do not know who you think you are to comehere like this but it will notstand!”

“I called him, Mother.” Lyssa said before he could snap at Elindraagain. He seemed the kind to rudely snap at people under their own roof.

“I beg your pardon?” her mother scoffed in dismay. “Whatever for?”

“He can take her off our hands before she does something that bringsshame to this house again.” she dismissed. “She might not miss next time.”

Elindra swallowed hard, pursing her lips in a way that told Lyssa she wouldbe in for a lecture later on.

“Your sister had an accident.”her mother hissed. “She needs to stay herewhere her reputation is safe.”

“Taking three pills instead of two is an accident, Mother.” she sneered.“Swallowing the whole bottle is a suicide attempt.”

The word hadn’t been said once.

Not when the maid had found her sister, not when Elindra had franticallyslapped her until her eyelids  hadfinally fluttered open, not when the old family doctor had prescribed her rest…Accident was the polite proper term.

“Where’s she?” Abernathy asked, sounding tired, almost defeated.

“You will take her with you, yes?” Lyssa insisted.

Oh, the loathing in those grey eyes… “If she wants to come. Yeah.”

“That is not necessary and I won’t allow it.” Elindra snapped. “Effiewill stay here. She is simply… Shehas bad cases of nerves attacks, that is all. She will rest, get better and wewill find her a nice gentleman to…”

“Sure.” Abernathy scowled. “Over my dead body.”

“It is for the best.” Lyssa promises. “She is lovesick for him, haven’tyou noticed? The shirt, the way she stares at the phone… It is his name she calls when she has anepisode. If he wants her, I say good riddance.”

“Lyssa!” Elindra exclaimed, not thatdisapproving though.

“The scandal will be bad but it will only be on her.” she insisted “If Effie kills herself here we will never hear the end of it.”

“Okay. Enough’s enough.”Abernathy growled, pushing past her and up the stairs. “Effie!” He looked likeman’s possessed, opening every door on his path. “Effie!”

Lyssandra and Elindra hurried after him, a bit scared by his sudden hostility.He smelt strongly of whiskey and she wondered if he was drunk. It wouldn’t besurprising, would it?

“Mother?” Timotheo called out, uncertain, when the man brutally openedthe nursery’s door. Her brave boy had immediately pushed his little brotherbehind him. “Mother, is it happening again?”

Was someone elsegoing to be arrested and killed? he meant. Would Haymitch Abernathy, one of therebellion’s figureheads, grab someone like the rebels had grabbed Rufus infront of his sons without any sort of common decency?

“Sorry, kid.” Abernathy offered, his voice softening, before she couldsay anything. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Just looking for my girl.”

“I wasn’t scared.” her son answered, jutting his chin up in dismissal.

Abernathy’s lips quirked up in a bitter smirk. “Course not.”

“If you are done I will takeyou to her room.” Lyssa hissed, forcing him to step back so she could close thenursery’s door once more.

“You’ve got a good boy.” he said on the way.

As if it was even a question.

“His father was a good man too.” she snapped. “You and my sister refusedto help him. You might as well have killed him yourselves.”

“It was a lot more complicated than that.” he countered. “I barely got Effieout.”

“Oh, please!” she scowled.

Annoyance flashed on his face but she opened a door before he couldreply and the moment he spotted Effie lost in the comforter of her big bed, hewas gone. He rushed inside and if he was thrown by the pink canopy of the bedor the decidedly teenage feel of the room, it didn’t show.

“Sweetheart…” he breathed out with relief when he sat on the mattressnext to Effie’s hip. He brushed his knuckles against her cheek and smiled whenher eyes opened. A genuine tender smile that looked so intimate Lyssa felt likean intruder. “Stupid girl…” he growled. “Why didn’t you call? You’re doing this bad, you call me. You come to me.” Heshook his head. “I know you’re angry with me but that’s pushing it too far. Youdon't… You don’t do this, Effie. That's…No.”

Effie was staring at him as if she wasn’t sure he was real.

“You should stall Father.” Lyssa suggested to Elindra “He won’tapprove.”

And she intended to have Abernathy and her sister out of the house well before he was back from work andtried to stop them from whisking Effie to Twelve.

Her mother’s lips were still pursed. “Neither do I, Lyssandra.”

And yet she still left in search of a pretext to slow down their father,probably because she knew Lyssa was right. They would survive the scandal ofEffie running to Twelve but if Effie took her own life under their roof…Abernathy had experience with that sort of things. Everyone knew the Mockingjaywas unstable.

“Haymitch…” Effie whispered almost with awe. She reached out and hehelped her place her hand on his cheek. “You’re real.”

Lyssa rolled her eyes and stepped inside the room. “She sleepwalks now.I trust it is not a deal breaker for you.”

She rummaged around until she located the pink suitcase under the bed.She could have called the maid but she was curious.

Abernathy was resolutely ignoring her anyway.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Perfectly fine.” Effie answered, almost cheerfully.

Exactly as Lyssa had suspected. An act. She should have called thevictor much earlier and saved them all the trouble. Perhaps that even was whather sister had been after. A dashing rescue.

“Effie.” he chided.

Effie licked her lips and averted her eyes, her cheeks flushed in shame.“There was an accident, as you surely know…”

“Accident, was it?” he snorted bitterly.

Her sister shrugged pitifully. “I was very tired. I could not… I couldnot make sense of the things in my head and… Lyssa, what are you doing?”

It might have been the first time in months Effie had dared to addressher directly. Guilt, Lyssa was sure.

“I am packing your things, what does it look like?” she retorted. “Wecannot keep you given the circumstances. Either you are insane or you play atbeing insane. Frankly, I don’t give a damn which it is.”

That wasn’t entirely true and her heart clenched.

Seeing Effie unconscious in a puddle of her own sick… Seeing theirparents so frantic with panic… Seeing their mother crying…

No, she hadn’t liked that at all.

But they couldn’t help her. That was glaringly obvious.

“No!” Effie screamed, scrambling to a sitting position but too weak todo much more. “No! Father said he wouldn’t let you! He promised! He promised! I will be good… I won’t do it again, I promise. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Don’t let them lock me up, Lyssa…Don’t send me there! Don’t…”

“Send you where?” Abernathy frowned, looking up at Lyssa. “What is shetalking about?”

She pursed her lips, reluctant to share her own part in this fiasco.

“She wants to send me to an asylum.” Effie whispered, tears rolling downher cheeks. “Because I’m insane. And I am.I think I am but…”

“Nobody’s locking you up anywhere.” the victor cut her off. “I’ve cometo take you home.”

“Home…” her sister repeated as if it was a foreign concept.

“If you want to come, that is.” Abernathy amended, nervously rubbing theback of neck. “The kids are cleaning the guest room right now. They were happywhen I told them I was coming to get you, they want to see you. Didn’t tellthem what happened though. Knew you wouldn’t like that..”

Did he ever form proper sentences, she wondered? What was so appealingabout butchered grammar?

“Home… Home with you…” Effie insisted, sounding a bit sluggish.

She was always slow lately.

Lyssa folded the last dress in the suitcase and moved on to the dressingtable and the beauty products her sister hadn’t touched in a long time.

“You can’t be that mad with me… You’re wearing my shirt.” he pointedout. “Been wearing it a while, yeah?”

It was a tactful way to say she smelled, Lyssa figured. But it wasn’t Effie per se. Her sister showered threetimes a day since the war.

“She refuses to have it washed.” Lyssa supplied. “Mother tried to tossit away and she fished it from the garbage bin.”

Abernathy wrinkled his nose while Effie flushed crimson. Her sisterdidn’t deny though.

Lyssa understood more than she pretended. She had her own stash ofRufus’ clothes hidden away and she kept them religiously but that didn’t meanshe dressed like a hobo.

“Okay… Tell you what, sweetheart… I’ll get you another one, yeah? Let’stake this one off. Get you dressed.” he suggested.

Lyssa turned around to offer her help because as much as she hated hersister nowadays she wasn’t about to let a man putting unwelcomed hands on her.The hands weren’t unwelcomed though. They couldn’t be when Effie slipped theshirt over her head without a second thought for the grand lack of underwearunderneath.

His grey eyes roamed on the uncovered flesh. Assessing rather thanlusting.

“You lost more weight.” he said.

“She doesn’t eat.” Lyssa sighed, betraying a worry she didn’t want toadmit to herself. Effie looked like a walking corpse. She ate like a bird,mostly soup. Her blue eyes fell on the scars and she frowned. “Where did youget those?”

Effie hadn’t shied away from the man’s gaze but she covered herself withthe comforter under her sister’s scrutiny. “Nowhere.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” he said calmly. “You don’t have to say.”

Effie relaxed and accepted the bra and panties he fished from the opensuitcase. She dressed under the sheets and Lyssa had the distinct impression itwas to hide from her and not fromhim. She only pushed the comforter away once she had a black and white dresson. It looked far too big on her.

Lyssa grabbed her toiletry bag from the bathroom and zipped the suitcaseshut. There. Now Effie could leavefor good and she would be able tomourn in peace.

She felt a pang of longing when she saw the way the victor helped herwalk, making sure she wouldn’t trip, making sure she was alright… The smileEffie flashed him was the most genuine thing she had seen on her sister’s facesince the war, her eyes were lighting up when she looked at him. And he softened around her. He looked lessscary, less… intense.

A match made in madness.

“Thanks for calling me.” Abernathy said as Lyssa was about to close thefront door on them. His tone was controlled and she was sure there were otherthings he wanted to tell her. Mainly about how suggesting to have Effiecommitted was  probably what had pushedher to radical options.

She understood what he was playing at when Effie looked at her insurprise and gratefulness.

She remained rigid in her sister’s embrace.

But that was a first step, she figured.